


the truth

by vinndetta



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Bonding, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Late Night Conversations, Missing Scene, Tales of Symphonia Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: Lloyd thinks about this for a moment, contemplating the flames in front of him. "Was it true then, what you said before?"
Relationships: Lloyd Irving & Zelos Wilder
Kudos: 9





	the truth

**Author's Note:**

> tw implied suicidal thoughts; it'd not clear, but zelos mentions at one point something that implies he had suicidal thoughts before meeting lloyd and the others.
> 
> wrote this while listening to the serious arrangement of zelos' theme. it's a good arrangement but also it hurts.
> 
> takes place right after lloyd and team beat mithos for the first time.

_"My life buys hardship in bulk. The poor, handsome boy Zelos, envied for his status, looks, and beautiful voice, grew up with his life in constant danger! Heh."_  
  
_"The Chosen is respected in name only. We're imprisoned in our own homes, always eating meals that are cold from being carefully tested for poison. Even our marriage partners are decided from the moment we're born."_  
  
_"Chosens are treated by everyone like some kind of strange, inhuman creatures, separated from our parents as children and attacked by thugs... When will our suffering end?"_  
  
_"...Just messin' with ya. I'm just saying that if I suffered like that, my personality would be even cooler and I'd get even more hotties than I do now."_

_"Oh, I see...wait, what? Are you saying all of that was a lie?!"_

_"Hey, hey, woah, settle down."_

_"...Man, I'm never taking anything you say seriously ever again!"_

_"Don't get mad, buddy!"_

_"Don't touch me, you stupid jackass Chosen!"_

_"Hahahaha! Sorry, sorry. Really, really... I'm sorry."_

-

"You're a jerk, you know that?"

Lloyd watches as Zelos whips his head around, eyes wide. From this angle, Lloyd can see why everyone seems to fawn over him, as the light from the campfire paints him in glorious light. In the darkness, it almost looks like he's glowing.

"Geez. Harsh, but fair. Harsh, but fair," Zelos quips back, turning back towards the campfire.

Zelos is on night watch that night. It doesn't feel like it, but it's only been hours since Zelos betrayed them and then came back to their side to betray Mithos himself. In the day, they plan to regroup and forge the Eternal Sword to reform both worlds. With Zelos' help, it looks like it might become a possibility sooner than before.

Lloyd crouches down to sit next to him. Zelos' gaze doesn't move from the slowly rising smoke of the campfire, so Lloyd looks at it too. 

"Ever burning," Zelos mutters.

Lloyd raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"The flames. They just keep burning, forever lighting a path. You can put it out, but some flames never die." Zelos brushes back his own hair, focusing intently on the fire still. His eyes haven't moved at all, but he continues to talk. "There's so much water in the world. If you really wanted, you could stop all the fires in the world."

"Someone can just light a new one...?" Lloyd frowns. "What do you mean?"

Zelos shakes his head. "I'm not talking about actual flames."

Lloys stays quiet at that.

"There are some fires that never die out," Zelos continues. The fire flares up as a sudden wind threatens to blow out the flames. Without any prompting, Zelos casts Fireball wordlessly and flames burst forth again. "Fires that won't give up, fires that burn so bright that only enemies and fools and foolish enemies would even try to subdue it."

"Does this _fire_ ," Lloyd says in air quotes, "... refer to something?"

Zelos turns his head towards Lloyd for the first time, and Lloyd is hit with the intensity of it all. The flames reflect in Zelos' eyes, but something within those same eyes screams out suffering and exhaustion.

"That fire is you," he says simply.

Lloyd looks back at the fire. "Me?"

"Your anger, the flames in your heart, that is the fuel driving you, driving so many people. We're out here fighting to save the world, and it's because of you. You and your grandiose wishes for a world with peace, a world without sacrifice, and a world where no one has to suffer."

"When did you become such a poet?" Lloyd mutters.

Zelos shrugs. "It's just the truth. The truth is always weird to hear, no matter what it is."

"The truth, huh?" Lloyd thinks about this for a moment, contemplating the flames in front of him. "Was it true then, what you said before?"

"What?"

"That your life was a joke."

-

_"It's because of that title that my life has been a total joke."_

_"...You're lying! I still trust you. You hear me!? You're the one who told me I could trust you!"_

-

"Ah," Zelos says, and Lloyd knows that he remembers what happened and what he had told the group. "You know, I might have exaggerated a little."

"A little?"

Zelos laughs bitterly. "Does it matter?"

Lloyd shakes his head in frustration. "Of _course_ it matters! You're my friend. I trust you. And in the end you were helping us, but..."

"Did I sound convincing?" Zelos hums softly. "I did take acting classes back at the academy, you know--"

_"Stop."_

Zelos fixes his gaze down upon Lloyd, eyes devoid of emotion.

"Stop this. You're trying to change the topic. I know you, Zelos, and you're avoiding answering my question."

"You don't know me." Zelos furrows his eyebrows. "You don't know anything about me."

Lloyd grunts, trying to keep his voice down. People are sleeping around them, and he doesn't want to wake up everyone up before the big day tomorrow. He joined Zelos on the night shift because he wanted to have a private conversation and dammit, a private conversation he was going to get!

"I know you're Zelos Wilder," Lloyd hisses, and Zelos looks taken aback by the sudden change of tone. "You're the Chosen of Tethe'alla. You're known in this world as a womanizer and a flirt, someone who doesn't take anything seriously. But you're doing this as a cover-up. You lost your parents, you feel far away from your sister, you don't trust anyone anymore so you put this wall up."

Zelos looks back at the fire.

"You want people to trust you, but you don't. You want to trust other people, but you're scared of being hurt. You're afraid of the world around you."

"I'm not _afraid_ \--"

"You're tired of the world, of being hurt, of being _exploited_ , of expectations you're not sure how to fulfill, you're _tired_ of it all."

 _"C'mon,_ bud--"

"Zelos Wilder, you might think I don't trust you anymore. You might think you're better off _dead_. But _I trust you_. I want you alive, Zelos. You're my friend - you're a _good_ friend of mine." Lloyd pokes Zelos in the chest. "And I don't want you to forget that. I'm fighting to save the world, I'm fighting for my friends, for me, for _you_."

Zelos watches him for a moment, looking into his eyes as if he could see into his brain, into his thoughts, into his intentions, until -- "It was the truth."

Now it's Lloyd's turn to say, "What?"

"What I said about my life? Back at the Tower of Salvation? Back at your dad's house, on the balcony? It's all true."

Lloyd closes his eyes to think back to those moments. Moments where Zelos said his life was pointless, that his life was hard, that he had led a tragic life as the Chosen, that having this title was causing him suffering.

"So, at Dirk's house, why'd you play it off?"

"Play it off as if I was joking?"

Lloyd nods once.

"I didn't want you to feel bad for me," Zelos admits. "It's hard enough that you knew, but I could tell that you were feeling bad for me. I didn't want your pity, and I already panicked that I told you such things about me. I swore I'd keep it impersonal, and I had failed for the most part, but at that moment I knew I had shared too much."

"... So you backtracked and took it back."

Zelos shifts. "... I was scared," he says softly. Lloyd can barely hear him, but he knows the words that came out of his mouth.

"You were scared?"

"Being vulnerable has never done me any good. If you're vulnerable, people can take advantage of you. It's better to take advantage of other people rather than let yourself get trampled by others."

Lloyd frowns. "It must have been lonely."

"... It kind of was," Zelos admits. "I created my reputation, surrounded myself with women and luxury... but I was pretty lonely. I had my sister when I was younger, but once she was sent to the abbey... there wasn't much else worth living for."

Zelos then laughs.

"But you know, after I met your group... things changed. I wonder if this could be something like destiny. I was reaching my limit. I had joined them as a spy for a while, when they promised to rid me of my title, but I had waited so long, I was starting to get _tired_ of waiting."

Lloyd lets that sink in. "Oh-"

"So, you saved me and gave me purpose, I guess," Zelos shrugs, as if what he had said wasn't some deeply personal and intimate knowledge. "I have something worth living for now. I have friends to look forward to knowing forever. I have a new world to explore and live in. I have _you_."

"Me?" 

"Yeah," Zelos laughs, and it's a real laugh this time. "Of course, bud. You're my best buddy, Lloyd." He puts on a serious face this time and turns towards Lloyd. "My life has been a joke for the most part, but... I guess not anymore. Not now. What we've done now... I have a purpose. Life isn't tragic anymore. We can put an end to this cycle, and finally give my life some other meaning than having some stupid title of the Chosen."

Lloyd gives him a small smile. "Well, we'll see. You're still going to be known as the Chosen probably."

"Sure," Zelos grins. "I mean, it'll get me the hot chicks still, but at least it won't be as important and I can do other things."

"Like?"

"Pick up even _more_ chicks. Sylvarant hotties, here I come!"

Lloyd rolls his eyes. "Stop it, you'll wake everyone up."

"Oh right," Zelos quiets down. "Of course, we should spend some quality bro time together. Wouldn't want anyone to sneak on our very private meeting and see what we're doing," he adds, winking.

Lloyd sputters. "Zelos, c'mon, seriously, you're back to this after _that_ conversation?"

Zelos laughs silently at his reaction.

As the color begins to rise again in the horizon before them, Lloyd can't help but feel like the duo of both himself and the man sitting next to him has changed for the better.

**Author's Note:**

> zelos has always been one of my favorite characters from tales of symphonia (and favorite characters in general) for this reason. x


End file.
